Lifting Burdens

One of my favorite YouTube church videos is called "Lifting Burdens." No matter what I am going through. This video has so much inspiration. I think I tear up every time I listen to it. Elder Holland says "Christ is everything to us and we are to abide in him permanently, unyielding, steadfastly forever.  For the fruit of the gospel to blossom and bless our lives, we must be permanently attached to him." I like that a lot because we should literally picture him next to us everyday/all day watching over us and protecting us. It is such a good and peaceful feeling to have. Elder Bednar later states, "We can be spiritually prepared and cleansed from sin, immersed in and saturated with his gospel. And purified and sealed by the holy spirit of promise. Even born again." I love that because it talks about god making a promise to us that we can wash our sins and mistakes away and basically be reborn and as long as we have faith, love and forgive ourselves for our mistakes, we can come unto Christ and be "reborn." I love the gospel so much and it brings so much happiness into my life.

profound letter.

As people may know.. I am obsessed with the movie and the book Eat Pray Love cause it has helped me through a lot of sadness and pain that I have gone through in the past. There is a scene in the movie where she is in Italy and she gets inspired to write a letter to the guy she was dating in New York before she leaves the country. This letter is so brilliantly written and I always find myself relating to it in different ways.

Dear David,

We haven't had any communication in a while, and it's given me time I needed to think. Remember when you said we should live with each other and be unhappy so we could be happy?

Consider it a testimony to how much I love you that I spent so long pouring myself into that offer, trying to make it work. But a friend took me to the most amazing place the other day its called, The Augustium. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the Barbarians came they trashed it along with everything else. The Great Augustus Rome's first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, one day would be in ruins. It's one of the quietest and loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over centuries. Feels like a precious wound, Like a heartbreak you won't let go of cause it hurts too good.

We all want things to stay the same David. Settle for living in misery because were afraid of change. Of things crumbling to ruins. then i looked around in this place at the chaos its endured. The way its been adapted, burned, pillaged, and found a way to build itself back up again...and i was reassured. Maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, It's just the world that is. And the only real trap is getting attached to any of it. ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. Even in this eternal city. The Augustium showed me that we must always be prepared for endless waves of transformation.

Both of us deserve better than staying together because we're afraid we'll be destroyed if we don't.

stay positive, stay happy.

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

fall was fun.

Sooooooo I forgot about blogging and how great it is because you get to write about things that have happened in your life and feel like people read about it, but no one actually goes on my blog, so it's like a journal I guess. But basically I had a great fall semester and so many fun adventures through these past months and haven't regretted a single thing about it. I made a goal with myself this year that I'd always have a positive attitude and live every day to the fullest. I am so grateful for the friends that I have and the new friendships I've made and thankful to live in beautiful Utah and experience new things every day. This first semester of being a sophomore is almost over and it's so crazy how fast time goes by. I am excited for winter and the holiday season and for new things to come my way! 

 

Your biggest breakdowns can be your biggest breakthroughs.

"Sometimes things happen, and they make sense.  You understand. But then other times things happen that leave you scratching your head. They are incredibly challenging. You experience tremendous pain. You just don’t understand, no matter how much you try. Perhaps a lover leaves you. A loved one dies. Your dream plan falls through. Someone you love betrays you You get fired from your job. You get into an accident that leaves you injured. You face a life threatening illness. All of these difficult situations can leave you feeling confused, hurt or angry. We have all been there. Your biggest breakdowns can be your biggest breakthroughs. They can teach you the most about what is real, who you are, and what is truly important in your life. They can cause you to let go of everything that is inauthentic and serve as a wake up call. They can end up leading you to your soulmate, or your dream career. You just never know."

I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it. But I didn't, not really. Only the smudgeness of it; the pink-slippered, all-containered, semi-precious eagerness of it. I didn't realize it would sometimes be more than whole, that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it's the halves that halve you in half. I didn't know, don't know, about the in-between bits; the gory bits of you, and the gory bits of me.

Quick catch up from January-March.

These last few months have been crazy! From starting a new semester, my sister coming home from her mission, quitting a job that I have had for almost a year, building new relationships, and just living the Provo life. A few weeks into January, my family and I left for Argentina to go pick Jami up from her mission. We were there for 10 days and it was such an amazing trip! I met so many neat people and it was definitely a trip that I will never forget. I want to go back already. So now Jami has been back and it has been so great! I love having my best friend home and she is moving up to Utah in a few weeks and we get to live together, I'm stoked! Another highlight of these last couple months was being in this awesome photo shoot called color me rad. It was a photo shoot for a marathon that is coming up in April and it is going to be unreal! It is called color me rad because they are doing this thing where they throw a new color on you every lap that you run. Go to the website colormerad.com and watch the video and sign up! The downfall of the shoot was having my hair dyed from the colored powder. My hair was purple for almost two weeks, it was pretty bad. But the manager paid us to get it our hair fixed so that was really nice. Another funny moment that happened last month was dropping 300 dollars at H&M. I was having a rough couple days and some of my friends and I drove up there to shop and, I ended up not trying one thing on and just buying it all. It sounds like I'm a crazy shopoholic, because it's kinda true. I'm obsessed with clothes and I have way too many. My friends make fun of me because my closet is so small and all my clothes are literally dominating my closet and I had to buy another rack because I have way too much stuff. Lastly, one of my best friends got married this past weekend!!! Kate Lovell. She is the most genuine, spiritual, loving person I have ever known. She dated my brother Nick for about a year and a half and even though it breaks my heart that they didn't work out, I am so so happy for her and her husband Drew! Their reception was so beautiful and it was such a fun night. Her and Drew are just so in love and I look up to them as a couple because they are so incredibly happy and I know someday I will be the same way with my future hubby. Enough with this cheesy blog post so I'm gonna end there!